i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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