I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
