I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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