Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
