Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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