Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
