I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
