Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
