sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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