the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
