The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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