dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
