you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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