this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
