She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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