im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
