you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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