mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
