Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
