i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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