I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
