Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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