Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
