I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Randomize
