:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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