ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
