I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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