Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
