Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
