What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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