kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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