In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sorry about my life...
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