He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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