Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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