Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
