I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
