Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
