If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
