My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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