Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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