? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
