I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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