I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
