69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
