Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
