Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
