Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
