K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
