He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
