Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
